But Hello Anyway…

Not too long ago, I published a post here at the Crossroads entitled “Too Deaf? Too Pagan? Too Firewalking?” This post was written as a response to a comment which was left on yet another one of my posts here on this blog… a comment which I found to be rather interesting.

This reader was expressing some of his thoughts in regards to my post “On Being Deaf…and Pagan”, in which I talked about exactly that: what it is like to be a Deaf person in the Pagan Community, and a Pagan in the Deaf Community. Once again, allow me to quote this guy’s words:

Psychologically speaking, the response you get is the response you caused. It seems that, wherever you go, you’re pointing out your differences instead of similarities. With Pagans, you’re irritating them by saying you’re deaf and with the deaf you’re irritating them by saying you’re Pagan.

I have a pretty good feeling that you would do the same thing if you went to a meeting of deaf Pagans: you’d shove your firewalking down their throat and they’d accuse you of being “too firewalking” for their taste.

If you want a better relationship with others, blend in rather than sticking out. When you point out how different you are, people automatically assume you’re implying you’re better than them.

Hmmmm… interesting.

Now, I’ve always maintained a policy of allowing people to say what they wish to say about my articles, whether I agree with them or not. On occasion I might respond to a comment with my own thoughts - or allow my readers to respond by sharing their thoughts. Oftentimes I have found reading comments to be enlightening and thought-provoking.

Yes, I have some thoughts on this guy’s comment.

But I found myself more curious to discover what my readers thought.

So I wrote a new post and put it up at the Crossroads and asked my readership to tell me just what they did think about this guy’s comment. Did they think he had a good point? Did they think there is some truth to what he was saying?

This guy says

“If you want a better relationship with others, blend in rather than sticking out.”

I wanted to know what my readers thought. Is this is the answer? Is “blending in” the way to create those better relationships?

“When you point out how different you are, people automatically assume you’re implying you’re better than them.”

Is this in fact what happens when we point out our differences? Do people automatically make that assumption?

As I explained to my readers, whether I agree or disagree with this guy’s statements; as I said, I do find his comments… interesting. I keep looking beyond just his response to me and thinking about how this would apply in general - for example, a Deaf person in the company of hearing people. Should we keep our mouths (and hands) shut and attempt to “blend in” so people will like us better, or speak up (and sign out!) and acknowledge our differences?

I asked my readers to post their thoughts…

And they did.

I would like to take a moment to thank everyone who did leave a comment. I found them all quite interesting, and enjoyed reading them.

I don’t have room to include everything that everyone said, but I would like to share some of these “enlightening and thought-provoking” comments that were left, and encourage you to go to the original post as mentioned above and read the rest of them…

So if I understand this guy correctly…

When we make an effort to express our own individuality and show ourselves for being the unique one-of-a-kind persons that we are, we are just cramming “whatever” down everyone’s throats… when in fact we should just be making an effort to conform to the status quo.

I have a problem with that…

Thanks, JD. I have a problem with it too.

I am not deaf, and do not spend time with the deaf. In fact, Osh is the only deaf person I know, and it is through her that the struggles of the deaf community have become known to me. I like Osh… she is opinionated and not afraid to speak her mind. Sometimes, in fact, she seems harsh. BUT, that’s because nobody speaks their mind these days. Everybody tries to blend in, because it is easier, and more comfortable.

Awww…shucks. Thanks, Sunny - I like you too! Yup, opinionated is a good word to use in describing me… and I am definitely known for speaking my mind - which admittedly has gotten me in trouble at times. But you’re right… it is easier to just go along with the crowd. Dunno if it’s always more comfortable, but I suppose each of us must make our own choices as to what we are able and willing to deal with.

Nobody is required to ‘accept’ anything. That is the beauty of America. We all choose what we wish to believe. We support/encourage those viewpoints we wish to perpetuate. We find that in life which enriches us on a personal level.

But when confronted by a situation/belief/modus operandi that we do not find palatable, we don’t have to accept anything; we do have to tolerate it. We must because that’s the beauty of the world (universe/spirit) - that there IS difference. It is this difference that makes the world the place it is.

I don’t think I could have said it any better, Dave. I have a phrase that I use often when I am doing presentations: “Yes, I am different from you…but our differences don’t have to make any difference.”

Interesting thought… blend in… It is difficult to impossible to blend into a hearing world completely. And let’s face it, a deaf person who really tries to be hearing is then chastised or shunned by the deaf community. A pretty damn fine line, if you ask me.

Yup, Spiritwolf…too damn fine a line, if you ask me.

We have fallen into a pit of protecting our views instead of curiosity about others.

Sadly, I think you’re right, Quinn. And that’s a dangerous pit to fall into.

I don’t think he gave you or others who do the same enough credit when he said, “When you point out how different you are, people automatically assume you’re implying you’re better than them.” What happened to sharing personal information for the purpose of understanding each other?

What happened indeed, Alpo… have we turned into a society that no longer values that understanding?

I loved what my friend Gaylen Eagle had to say:

I have met you and I never felt you’ve tried to be divisive in talking about the white elephant that everyone knows is in the room.

My sentiments exactly, Gaylen. I can’t hide my deafness, and why would I want to? And since sooner or later others are going to need to know anyway, why not just be open about it and educate others, instead of tiptoeing around, refusing to acknowledge an important fact about myself simply because it might threaten someone else’s comfort level?

I never feel quite right with people until they understand my deafness. It’s such an integral part of who I am. In order to spend any quality time with me, they need to understand how I communicate..

I fully agree, Kim… I’m the same way. I think this goes hand and hand with what Alpo was saying above - that sharing is an integral part of learning to understand one another, and thus be able to effectively communicate with each other.

That comfort level was mentioned by a couple of readers, while others talked about how the way we handle our differences and present them to others plays an important role…

I think it’s entirely how one presents one’s differences…We should appreciate who we are and not feel hesitant to share that…As far as how others feel, in my own experience, I only feel bothered if I am getting the sense that the other person is telling me things in such a way that they think I would be more satisfied with my life if I practiced living the way they practice living.

I think my readers have a point here - differences are a good thing, but just as we expect others to accept our differences, we need to be accepting of theirs, and recognize that “one size does not fit all.” We must also accept that not everyone is going to feel comfortable with all the various differences in the world… we should practice tolerance, but we can’t necessarily demand acceptance.

The beauty of us as humans is that we’re diverse. I LOVE diversity and all that it means.

We live at a time when members of groups that were once marginalized are now sitting down at the table and joining those who have enjoyed privilege.

We are living at a time when self-identification is important - to let others know what and who we are, to build bridges between communities where there were once tremendous gaps, and in our diversity, find our common humanness.

Beautifully said, Kevin. Indeed, we are building bridges… and we need to continue to do so. We need to celebrate that diversity, not cringe in fear of it.

Kevin’s comment about finding our common humanness within our diversity rings a bell with something that Dave also said:

…learn how to respect and tolerate these differences of opinions. Learn how to understand that there is a divine design behind these differences.

In seeing others ‘defects’ as an interesting characteristic, we open ourselves up to the opportunity of understanding life with depth, meaning and dimension that we never thought of; that we are incapable of doing by ourselves.

And who knows - we just may find a new dimension within ourselves.

There were so many beautiful things said by so many beautiful people, all celebrating the differences that we can discover in each and every one of us. If I neglected to include your comment, know that it is not intentional… everyone had something of value to say, I simply had to make a judgment call about which comments to utilize for this post.

But in the end, I think it was Jeffrey who spoke for all of us:

Better Relationships: Superficial ones?

I think sometimes it takes sticking your neck out to voice the truths of your belief system, or simply your own being. In the case of being deaf, I highly dissuade others from being submissive to the hearing norms we are expected to work with.

Compassion must be had on both sides.

If we keep blending in, we cease to spread an awareness of evident truths and in the process nothing is shared but everything is black and white.

Life, at least in my own perspective, is about colors. Seeing things for what they are. True colors.

Better relationships, as I’ve experienced, are the ones that you can rely on to improve and expand these truths, your truths, our truths. If we did little to support how we really feel, we’d be weltering in a sea of spiritual stagnancy and the lies that abound would furthermore engulf us.

The more truth you apply to your being, the less there is the expectation of blending in and greater is the expansion of our awareness of the many colors.

I love the word compassion and the meaning it has. I may not be the most compassionate person in the world because I’ve had my own battles with the superficial, but in my sharing of my truths, sticking out, I have harvested wonderful allies of that compassion that we believe should be widespread.

Deep and down, I believe we’re already the same,..maybe some actually stick their necks out to point out how different we are because they (the normalites, the majority, the mainstream) have long forgotten that we’re really all the same.

Sleep.
Eat.
Breathe.
And yes, go to the bathroom.

We live together.
Our differences help us understand the colors of living.

There are many rays from the sun with no two alike, yet they are all derived from the same source.

I love my wife’s bumper sticker which reads:
“Well-behaved women rarely make history.”

I think that could sum it up for me.

Maybe I’m too radical.
Maybe I’m too crazy.
Maybe I am.

But Hello anyway…

Too Deaf? Too Pagan? Too Firewalking?

I woke up this morning and checked my email, only to discover that I had a new comment to an old post - one that I wrote over a year ago, shortly after I first started Deaf Pagan Crossroads.

It’s a response to my post titled “On Being Deaf…and Pagan” - a post I wrote about my struggles of being “doubly marginalized,” so to speak. In this post I wrote about my experiences of being a Deaf person in the Pagan Community, and a Pagan in the Deaf Community. It generated a considerable amount of interest when it was posted and received quite a few comments. If you haven’t read it (or at least not recently), I encourage you to go back and give it another look.

Although this post still gets the occasional reader, it hasn’t received any comments in some time… until today. Allow me to quote this guy’s words:

Psychologically speaking, the response you get is the response you caused. It seems that, wherever you go, you’re pointing out your differences instead of similarities. With Pagans, you’re irritating them by saying you’re deaf and with the deaf you’re irritating them by saying you’re Pagan.

I have a pretty good feeling that you would do the same thing if you went to a meeting of deaf Pagans: you’d shove your firewalking down their throat and they’d accuse you of being “too firewalking” for their taste.

If you want a better relationship with others, blend in rather than sticking out. When you point out how different you are, people automatically assume you’re implying you’re better than them.

Hmmmm… interesting.

Now, I’ve always maintained a policy of allowing people to say what they wish to say here, whether I agree with it or not. With very few exceptions, I have pretty much left negative comments on the blog, removing them only when I felt they were rude, offensive, disrespectful… or just too damn stupid. On occasion I might respond to a comment with my own thoughts - or allow my readers to share their thoughts (I have a few I can pretty much count on to do so!)

Yes, I have some thoughts on this guy’s comment.

But… I’m more curious to know what YOU think.

So tell me, readers…

What do you think?

Does this guy have a point? Do you think there is some truth to what he’s saying?

Now, let’s take this beyond merely me and my being Deaf, Pagan, and a Firewalker.

This guy says

“If you want a better relationship with others, blend in rather than sticking out.”

What do you think? Is this is the answer? Is “blending in” the way to create those better relationships?

“When you point out how different you are, people automatically assume you’re implying you’re better than them.”

Is this in fact what happens when we point out our differences? Do people automatically make that assumption?

Whether I agree or disagree with this guy’s statements; as I said, I do find his comments… interesting. I’m looking beyond just his response to me and thinking about how this would apply in general - for example, a Deaf person in the company of hearing people. Should we keep our mouths (and hands) shut and attempt to “blend in” so people will like us better, or speak up (and sign out!) and acknowledge our differences?

I’m really curious to know what others think, so please do post a comment and share your thoughts!

~ Ocean

I Brake for Killdeer

photo by .bobby

The other day, while driving home from work, I turned onto a street that is bordered by two swampy fields, with a small duck pond nearby. Needless to say, the area is populated by various breeds of birds; including mallard ducks, canadian geese, and even a heron or two.

But on this day, I became acquainted with a family whose species I haven’t seen for a couple of years.

As I drove down the street, a blur of wings flew across in front of my car, only to be followed by yet a second set of wings. A little startled by this sudden motion, I slowed down and glanced out my window in an effort to find out just what sort of bird was flapping around in traffic. In the distance I could see brown and white feathers scurrying along the ground, clearly agitated. Something was going on here.

It was enough to perk my curiosity, and also raise my concern. So I made a U-turn around on the street, and started back to where the ruckus was taking place.

It didn’t take long to figure out what the problem was. Scurrying along aside the curb were four little chicks, trying desperately to join their parents who were running alongside above them up on the grass. Unfortunately these babies were just too young and too small to be able to jump up over the curb and onto the grass, to join the adults in the field.

Studying the adult birds carefully, I quickly recognized the brown and white plumage, with the black ring around the throat (thanks to my late father, who was a big outdoorsman with a love for all creatures, great and small)…

Killdeer.

photo by curt hart

The Killdeer is a type of plover - a widely distributed type of wading bird. There are about forty different species of plover found throughout the world, and the Killdeer is probably one of the best known plovers here in the United States. It is found all over, not just close to water… in fact its breeding habitat is fields or lawns, where it nests on open ground - often on gravel. Killdeer nests have even been found in parking lots! The nests blend in quite well with their backgrounds, and the eggs themselves look like speckled stones.

Their name comes from the call they make, which sounds like “kill-deer, kill-deer, kill-deer.” They hunt for food in fields and along shores, eating mainly bugs. Killdeer are quite successful and popular because they readily adapt to living close to people; however, this make them vulnerable to being killed by cars or pesticides or other dangers which come from close interaction with humans. Killdeer will sometimes nest in the gravel rooftops of tall buildings, by which the chicks may die when they attempt to jump off the roof in order to follow their parents.

photo by *Karen

Speaking of chicks, getting back to these four running by the curb…

It was obvious that if something wasn’t done, these babies were going to meet an untimely death, as they kept scampering around, chasing after their parents as the adults flew frantically back and forth, trying to get them into the fields. They were running out into the street, and while it wasn’t a terribly busy one, there was enough traffic that I knew eventually they could get run over.

That’s when I decided to take matters into my own hands.

Pulling my car over, I parked it by the side of the road and walked up to these chicks, hoping that I might be able to somehow convince them to make a “flying leap” over the curb, or at the very least give them a little boost.

Killdeer chicks can run!

photo by ram.rom82

These little buggers took off in all directions, and it soon became clear that I wasn’t going to have much luck unless I could find some help.

In the meantime, the parents were doing their “broken wing” act… trying to lure me away from the babies. While they are not the only species of birds who use this ploy to distract predators, the Killdeer is probably the best known bird most commonly seen using this maneuver. The parent will walk along the ground dragging its wing and making distress calls, appearing to be injured. The predator, thinking this is an easy prey, will thus follow the adult and move away from the nest.

photo by rlw5663

Of course, such an act wasn’t working with me… but neither was trying to herd these precocious youngsters over the curb.

Then I noticed a man over at the pond, scattering food for the birds. I figured that he must be a fellow animal lover, and called out. He came walking over and I introduced myself and explained the situation. It turned out he worked at the local car dealership right next to the pond, and often would come down, feed the birds, and make sure everything was okay. When I described the Killdeer family predicament, he immediately responded with “let’s see what we can do.”

With the two of us working together, one on either side of a chick, we were soon able to corner them and get up close enough to where I could actually scoop up the young one and gently lift it up and over the curb to join mommy and daddy. One by one, we were able to capture and release three of the chicks into the field, where they quickly scampered off and were soon lost amongst the grass, their little downy coats blending in perfectly with the surrounding foliage.

photo by decadence_2artbar

Unfortunately, we were not able to save the fourth baby - before we could get to it, the chick ran out into the road and was run over by a passing motorist. Needless to say, I was quite upset and cursed at the driver while giving him the finger. But at the same time, I realize that this is just one of the harsh lessons that Mother Nature teaches us. It is a sad but true fact that many bird babies do not survive to reach adulthood. At least I was doing my part to try and give the remaining three a fighting chance.

Contrary to popular myth, adult birds will NOT abandon their babies if a human touches them. It is perfectly okay to handle a baby bird gently in order to place it back in the nest or assist it in some way. Most birds have a poor sense of smell anyway. So my handling the babies, which I did briefly, should do no harm.

After congratulating each other, my fellow baby rescuer and I walked back to my car, feeling pretty good about ourselves. In the distance we could see the adult Killdeer making their way through the field, no doubt leading the family along their way.

photo by Wish-I-Was

We are not alone on this planet. We share it with many other species of both flora and fauna. As a shareholder in planet Earth, we have a responsibility to take care not only of the planet itself, but of our brother and sister species. Whatever I can do to help I will attempt to do so. I’ve been known to move turtles off the road, swerve around squirrels, and escort a mother duck and her ducklings across a busy four-lane highway. I’ve taken injured opossums, rabbits, and birds to the local wildlife center. I’ve protested against the needless destruction of a forest, and cleaned up the shores along a river.

And I’ve assisted little Killdeer babies in getting over the curb.

As I drove away from that field, I couldn’t help but feel that the Goddess would be pleased. As I tucked myself into bed that night, I thought about how three little brown, black and white chicks were tucking themselves under their mother’s wing…

All because two people cared enough to stop and help.

photo by hartcurt

Beltane ~ In Search of Sweet Woodruff

Sigh… I give up.

I’ve searched high and low at all the garden centers all around this area in hopes of finding Sweet Woodruff, and nobody seems to have it. They did have some for sale at the Newburgh Country Store’s Herb Sale, but they sold out before I was able to snatch up a couple for my own patio garden.

Just what is Sweet Woodruff, you ask?

Sweet Woodruff (Gallium Odoratum) is a low growing, ground-covering perennial herb, a member of the family Rubiaceae, native to Europe, North Africa, and western Asia. Although perhaps not so well-known in America, it does thrive here and can be grown in gardens, etc. It is a good plant to grow around the base of trees and bushes, as it actually prefers shade. It is a rather attractive plant, with leaves that create a star shape, and small white flowers.

This plant has a strong sweet scent, which increases when it is picked and dried… thus it can be used for potpourri and herbal sachets, and as a moth deterrent. The scent reminds me of new-mown hay, and is derived from the chemical coumarin, which is also found in tonka beans and mullein. Woodruff has been used as a flavoring for various foods and flavorings (particularly in Europe); however, because coumarin is a known toxin, its use has been severely limited in modern years. In small doses it is relatively safe, but the scent and flavoring of Sweet Woodruff has been replaced in industrial production by artificial aromas, flavorings, and colorings.

So why was I seeking this herb?

Sweet Woodruff has traditionally been used to flavor May Wine, known in Germany (where it originated) as Maiwein or Maibowle. It is also known as Waldmeisterbowle, after the herb - which is known as Waldmeister in Germany. Just as Wassail is traditionally served during the winter, Maiwein is served during the spring - particularly on May Day, which occurs on May 1^st.

In the Pagan calendar, May Day is also known as Beltane.

Over the years, I have made and served May Wine as part of my Beltane celebrations, and have grown Sweet Woodruff specifically for this purpose. I was hoping to find a few small bedding plants which I transplant around my patio so I could continue the tradition this year.

Alas, no such luck. Maybe I should consider ordering a few plants on-line for next year.

As for my May Wine, I guess I’ll have to substitute a bottle of mead instead.

There are many variations of May Wine, but here is the recipe for the version I make:

OCEAN’S BELTANE MAY WINE

a couple of sprigs of sweet woodruff

bottle of white wine (traditionally German, but use what you like)

bottle of champagne or sparkling wine

(I like to use pink champagne or asti spumante)

juice of 2-3 lemons

two lemons cut in slices

juice of 2-3 oranges

two oranges cut in slices

handful of strawberries, cut in slices

handful of whole strawberries to float in the wine

Open up the bottle of white wine, insert the sprigs of woodruff, recork the wine and let it sit in the refrigerator overnight, so that the herb steeps and flavors the wine.

The next day, in a large punchbowl, combine the woodruff-flavored white wine with the champagne or sparkling wine. Add the juice from the lemons and oranges.

Add your slices of oranges and lemons, and your sliced strawberries to the punchbowl.

Float the whole strawberries in the May Wine, and add some fresh sprigs of woodruff for a little garnish, perhaps along with some edible spring flowers, such as violets, etc.

Serve in punch cups or wine glasses, with a sprig of the woodruff in the glass, along with a slice of citrus and a strawberry.

Enjoy!

Sending you all Beltane Blessings…

~ Ocean

Earth Teach Me

As we celebrate Earth Day, let us remember what the Earth teaches us… today, tomorrow, and always.

Blessings,

Ocean

Earth teach me stillness…as the grasses are stilled with light

Earth teach me suffering…as old stones suffer with memory

Earth teach me humility…as blossoms are humble with beginning

Earth teach me caring…as the mother who secures her young

Earth teach me courage…as the tree which stands alone

Earth teach me limitation…as the ant which crawls on the ground

Earth teach me freedom…as the eagle which soars in the sky

Earth teach me resignation…as the leaves which die in the fall

Earth teach me regeneration…as the seed which rises in the spring

Earth teach me to forget myself…

as melted snow forgets its life

Earth teach me to remember kindness…

as dry fields weep in the rain

Note: This is a Native American prayer which was originally found in the Unitarian Universalist prayer book. It has been posted on a number of different websites around the internet, including that of Cheryl Davis, an artist who specializes in portraying the beauty and heritage of Native American people. Cheryl’s site can be found at http://www.cheryldavisnativeamericanart.com/

Jeff Daniels - His Views on His Role in “Sweet Nothing In My Ear”

For those interested in watching a captioned video in which Jeff Daniels talks about learning sign language for his role, check out this link: http://www.hallmark.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/article|10001|10051|/HallmarkSite/HallmarkHallOfFame/HHOF_SCENES

I was curious to learn more about what Jeff Daniels thought about his role in “Sweet Nothing In My Ear,” in which he played the part of Dan, the hearing husband of a Deaf woman and the father of a Deaf son. It must have been quite a challenge for him to take on a role of this dimension, and I wanted to find out what prompted him to take such a role, what it was like to work with Deaf actors and actresses, how he went about learning ASL for his part.

After doing a little Googling, I found the following article, which you can read by clicking on the link (there are other articles listed, but they are all basically repeats of the same thing):

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080414/entertainment/tv_sweet_nothing

It appears from this article that Jeff learned to sign his lines from watching videos of Linda Bove. While this was not a bad idea, I wonder if he made any effort to find a Deaf person locally that he could practice with in order to get feedback and help improve his signing, instead of waiting until he got out to California and met with Linda personally.

I’ve read a number of comments that his signing really sucked. Admittedly, if he was married to this woman for nine years and she was a strong ASL user from a Deaf family, I would have expected the husband’s signing skills to be better. On the other hand, we have to be realistic… can we really expect Jeff to have such expert signing skills in the short amount of time he had to learn the language? Probably not. While his signing skills may not have been accurately portrayed for the role, for someone who had been signing for a matter of months, I didn’t think he did that bad. He acknowledges that it was a challenge that he knew he could fail… I don’t know if I would compare it to “juggling three peaches,” but it might make people think twice about the idea that learning sign language is easy.

True, maybe Jeff could have done more to prepare for the role, but we have no way of knowing what more he actually did do, or what conflicts he might have had that prevented him from doing so. But at least he was willing to take on the role and give it his best shot, and I think that says a lot. I suppose it could be compared to William Hurt learning ASL for his role in “Children of a Lesser God”… you know these actors will likely never become fluent signers, but at least you can appreciate the effort they put into it.

I thought it was kind of funny in this article how Jeff reacted to trying to sign while carrying a cardboard box. At the same time, I think this demonstrates some of the issues that hearing people often have with learning sign language - if you’re not used to thinking in ASL, things like this can really leave you flustered. We in the Deaf Community think nothing of trying to sign with a baby in your arm, a drink in your hand, or while carrying a box; but if you’re a “foreigner” used to thinking that you’ve got to sign everything exactly proper with both hands…

One thing that bothered me a bit about the article… it states

A crew of sign language interpreters were on the set to assist Matlin and the company’s other deaf actors, including Valencia, Ed Waterstreet and Phyllis Frelich, who play Laura’s parents.

Ahem… excuse me, but why are the interpreters specified as helping the DEAF folks on the set? Interpreters are there to facilitate communication between signers and non-signers - they help EVERYONE, not merely those who are Deaf. I assume the hearing people needed them just as much as the Deaf people did!

I praise Jeff for his comment on

There’s a whole deaf culture that wants to be considered normal - and they are…

That’s the message that we want to get out, and it’s good to see that a member of the Hollywood community recognizes it. It’s not easy constantly trying to teach this lesson, but all we can do is continue to educate… one person at a time.

I am a little confused by the article’s statement about how Matlin

…had never played a character who signed solely in American Sign Language, which has a different syntax than spoken or signed English.

But then it goes on to say she won an Academy Award for Children of a Lesser God. It’s been a while since I saw this movie, but didn’t she sign solely in ASL and didn’t use her voice in the role of Sarah for this movie? She may not have played such a character SINCE that role, but that’s not the same as saying she NEVER has.

And the fact that she does speak, lipread, and use hearing aids in real life doesn’t mean she isn’t capable of playing the role of a non-speaking, ASL-using individual when the role calls for it. Challenging? Certainly… and she admits to such. She also admits that she realizes the expectations of the Deaf Community who would be watching this movie:

“I’ll have a very tough crowd watching me.”

Indeed, the Deaf Community has been tough… and brutally honest in its opinions.

As for my own opinion… well, I thought the movie had its strengths and weaknesses. There were parts of it I liked, and parts of it I didn’t like. For the most part I thought it was pretty well balanced and tried to show all sides of the situation. It took a universal issue - the challenge of being a married couple trying to communicate differences of opinion and make appropriate decisions regarding raising children - and gave it a unique slant.

I’m not sure I can give it two thumbs up, but it definitely gets an A for effort. If it at least taught people a thing or two and got them thinking, then that’s a good thing.

I Felt the Earth Move Under My Feet…

It was a little after four thirty in the morning. I was at work, cleaning the kitchen in the apartment where my clients live, having just finished making lasagna for their weekend meals.

All of the sudden, I was having a hard time keeping my balance. Now granted, I do have a balance problem which is connected to my deafness, but this was more than that. And since I reserve any drinking I do for my days off (besides, I’m not that big of a drinker anyway), I knew I couldn’t blame my unsteadiness on alcohol.

Nope, there was something else going on here. The building actually felt like it was…

shaking.

This wasn’t the normal shaking that one might feel when a semi passes by your home. Besides, the apartment was in a large complex away from any major traffic, so there wouldn’t be any large trucks outside the door. This was something that actually made the furniture shift a couple of inches.

I immediately went outside, only to find that the neighbors were also outside standing around in the parking lot, with the same puzzled expressions as myself. Obviously I wasn’t the only one who had felt the trembling.

Since the apartment was located close to the airport, the first thing that went through my mind was a possible plane crash. But I didn’t see anything that looked like a fire, and the neighbors didn’t hear any sirens.

So I went back inside, only to discover that my clients (both of whom are developmentally disabled and mentally retarded) had woken up, and were freaking out in the living room. They couldn’t understand why someone would come in and shake their beds. After calming them down and escorting them back to their rooms, where they looked upon their mattresses with nervous suspicion before finally climbing back under the sheets, I grabbed my trusty SideKick and put in an emergency text message to the office.

The building here just shook big time, and it freaked out the clients. Anyone know what’s going on?”

The answer came back a few minutes later…

earthquake.

Yup, folks… southern Indiana got visited with an earthquake this morning.

According to the U.S. Geological Survey, the quake registered 5.2 on the Richter scale… not all that impressive when compared to Los Angeles earthquake of 1994, which measured 6.7… or the Alaskan earthquake of 1964, which measured 8.4 on the scale. Nevertheless, it was still strong enough to put cracks up a schoolhouse in West Salem, Illinois, which was close to the epicenter of the earthquake… less than sixty miles away from Evansville. It also did some damage as far away as Louisville, Kentucky - a good two to three hours to the east.

And of course, to rattle a couple of people’s nerves.

An earthquake in the Midwest??? Actually, it shouldn’t be all that surprising. The area around the Mississippi River between Saint Louis and Memphis is home to the New Madrid Seismic Zone, the most seismically active area in the country east of the Rocky Mountains. Some scientists predict that the next “big quake” won’t happen in California or Alaska - both known for their earthquake activity. It will happen right in the nation’s heartland. Indeed, major earthquakes estimated to have registered around 8.0 or higher did occur here back in 1811 and 1812, which changed the course of the Mississippi River and entirely destroyed a town which is now underwater. It is estimated that a serious earthquake in the New Madrid Fault Zone could actually devastate 65% of the city of Memphis in Tennessee and do significant damage elsewhere as well.

We ended up having an aftershock later in the morning around 10:15 which registered 4.6 on the scale. The morning’s earthquake is said to have been felt as far away as Chicago, Kansas City, and Memphis.

It’s not the first time I have felt an earthquake, but it hasn’t been a common occurrence in my life. I can’t say that it’s something I would care to repeat.

But at least we can be thankful that there was minimal damage and no report of injuries.

Next time we might not be so lucky.

This is a damage range comparison between an earthquake in the New Madrid Seismic Zone area and a comparable earthquake in the Los Angeles area. As you can see, an earthquake in the Midwest could have some long-range devastating effects over a greater distance than one in California

Pieces of April

One of the things about moving back to my hometown is that it evokes a lot of childhood memories.

Driving to and from work, I often pass the schools I attended when I was a kid. As the only deaf child in an all-hearing family, I was kept at home and attended the local all-hearing schools. No deaf school for me; no ASL, no Deaf Culture, no Deaf classmates or mentors. I was the classic “solitary” - the deaf child growing up in a hearing environment.

But it wasn’t all bad… I still have some pleasant memories of attending Plaza Park Elementary School (which is now a middle school), and then going on to William Henry Harrison High School… home of the Warriors. I was the class of 1976, and one of my classmates - Brad Ellsworth - is now serving Indiana in the U.S. House of Representatives. Believe it or not, even as the only deaf student in the entire school, I served on Harrison’s Speech and Debate team, and actually made it to state finals.

When I passed my former high school the other day, as I often do when coming home from work, I noticed the sign in front of the school indicated that the prom was soon coming.

Ahhh… the memories.

Yes, I attended my prom - four of them, to be exact… all with the same person. Harrison had both a Junior Prom and a Senior Prom back in my day (I don’t know if they still do this or not). The Junior Prom was held in April, and the Senior Prom in May.

I remember my first prom… I was a junior, and my date was a sophomore. He was a nice guy named Kelley… I wouldn’t say that we were “boyfriend and girlfriend” - more like really good friends who did things together. I suspect that his feelings for me were probably somewhat stronger than mine for him - we didn’t sit around making out all night, and we never did the “dirty deed” together… if you get my drift. I cared about Kelley, but I wasn’t in love with him. He didn’t make my heart flutter or put stars in my eyes.

But when the prom came around, he was the only one who expressed a desire to accompany me.

So I bought the dress… a bright cheerful red and white patchwork halter dress; fixed my hair and put on my makeup; and with his mother acting as chauffer, off we went to join my classmates in the most sacred of teenage rites.

The theme of my Junior Prom was “Pieces of April”, a popular song at the time as recorded by Three Dog Night. The music was provided by the band “Clear Lights” - a local band that was considered one of the best in the area. Kelley and I danced, we drank punch and munched on appetizers, we joked around with our friends.

And then they played the theme song.

We joined other couples on the dance floor. I laid my head on Kelley’s shoulder and rested my cheek against his chest. He kissed my forehead and held me close.

And for a few brief moments, we could pretend to be young lovers dancing under the moonlight.

I haven’t seen or talked to Kelley in years. He went with me to my Senior Prom also, and I was his date for both his Junior and Senior Proms. But I went away to college, and although we continued to write, we simply drifted apart. I was learning ASL and beginning my journey into Deafhood… we just didn’t seem to have much in common any longer.

But every year in April I am transported back to a magickal night when we danced to one of my favorite songs… a time when we were still so very young, full of the hope and promise of future possibilities.

I hold onto those visions, and I keep them in my own memory bouquet.

For I’ve still got pieces of April…

even when it’s a morning in May.

Pieces Of April

by

Three Dog Night

April gave us springtime

And the promise of new flowers

And the feeling that we both shared

And the love that we called ours

We had no time for sadness

That’s a road we each had crossed

We were living a time meant for us

And even when it would rain we would laugh it off

I’ve got pieces of April

I keep them in a memory bouquet

I’ve got pieces of April

But it’s a morning in May

We stood on the crest of summer

Beneath an oak that blossomed green

Feeling as I did in April

Not really knowing what it means

But it must be then that you stand beside me now

To make me feel this way

Just as I did in April, but it’s a morning in May

(instrumental)

I’ve got pieces of April

I keep them in a memory bouquet

I’ve got pieces of April

But it’s a morning in May

I’ve got pieces of April

I keep them in a memory bouquet

I’ve got pieces of April

But it’s a morning in May